Broken Thermostat

It gets warm, we wear fewer clothes. It gets hot, we turn on fans. It rains, we cover up. It snows, we bundle up.

Yet we get stressed, we often work harder. We get tired, we often grab caffeine. We get irritated, we often dig in.

Our temperature thermostat works just fine. However our emotional thermostat, the one that controls the nervous system, the one that keeps us a level-headed fully functioning, loving and caring person, that one is broken. The alarm goes off, but we’re not doing anything about it, or worse, we're doing the exact opposite of what is needed.

Here’s a radical idea. If we get stressed, lets take some time for ourselves. If we get tired, let’s take a nap. If we get irritated, lets step back and breathe.

Let’s start giving ourselves what we’re asking for. Then maybe we can give everyone else what they’re asking for. That's mindful living.

P.S. I'm writing this to myself.

The Future Experiment

I've spent a lot of my life anxious about the future. If I'm honest, maybe I'd actually admit to being scared about the future. 

Then something changed, I lost my job and I didn't want it back. I realized I was not really happy doing what I was doing. I also realized the idea of security, is just that, an idea, it doesn't actually exist. We don't control our future and neither does our boss, investors or spouse. To take that thought one step further, we can only influence the outcome of our actions so much, perhaps very little.

I started looking at the future as an experiment. I would take a clear set of actions for a clear set of time and then I would assess the results when that time came. I would suspend fear and doubt till the end of the experiment, giving me the freedom to work unencumbered by negative thoughts and emotions. Why focus on what might be when I knew the exact date that I would have a clear answer. 

Outcomes began to matter less. The power of curiosity took over. The desire to discover what might happen is now what fuels me. I feel young, creative and free again. 

This is what I believe teachers mean when they say, "live in the present moment." I've found the first step is not a focus on today, but rather a letting go of tomorrow. It's scary. It goes against our instincts to survive and yet it's what is required to thrive.  



A Teacher's Text

Technology has a bad reputation for distraction, taking us out of the present moment we try so hard to uncover, with the smart phone possibly the most guilty of all technologies.

However, it's not really the phone's fault is it? It's more user fault - on both ends. 

This text from a meditation teacher is proof that technology might truly help us yet. 

A Gregorian Break From The Norm

For those times when sitting and meditating just feels like too much work, when a soothing voice guiding you sounds like nails on a chalkboard, give a Gregorian Chant a try. You might be thinking Enigma's time has come and gone, but just give it a try before you knock it.

Turn the lights off, light a candle, sit back or lay down, grab a glass of wine if that's what you need, and then just listen deeply to the chant.  

Mindful Matter:

Gear for the journey......

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  1. Tatine votive candles. My favorite is Field of Grass - it transports you to a field of freshly cut grass and sunshine.
  2. Nothing clears the head like a solo hike
  3. Manduka pro series yoga mats are designed to last a lifetime. The dense, thick mat works well as a comfy meditation cushion too.
  4. An American classic: Faribault 100% wool throws loomed in Minnesota since 1865.  
  5. Linus is the ultimate city bike: simple and reliable, but with a personality and style that makes you feel like you’re in an old French movie.
  6. Fjallraven vintage 20L rucksack has become an iconic symbol of classic functional Swedish design. Light, comfy and water tight.

Wise Words: Leonard Cohen

"When the level of suffering in any individual reaches a certain point and he can’t deal with his own discomfort, then he is going to look for some kind of solution. I don’t think any religious quest is begun with a sense of luxury. I don’t think any serious study is undertaken unless the being is broken with some kind of suffering, either physical or psychic. I don’t think anybody undertakes a serious religious examination unless they’ve been creamed somehow by the world. And once that happens, once the heart is broken and once you recognize that the heart is broken, then various paths open to individuals. And there are very many different paths. That’s why we should never take a position from one path or another on the other paths, because the broken heart illuminates a path and it is a different path for each broken heart. I understand that when you say the words “broken heart,” lots of people just turn off. But the truth is, this is the beginning of wisdom, to understand that you are deeply uncomfortable here. That discomfort illuminates its own solution and it is often years before you take that solution. So you poke around at the different solutions that are available. Maybe you come to the ones that are most familiarly articulated, your own religion. Most of the religions around are pretty good for that. It may be a political solution. It may be an ascetic solution. It may be a hedonistic solution. None of us has the right to judge other people’s solutions to suffering."

- Leonard Cohen
comments from a 1988 CBC broadcast, Leonard Cohen: A Portrait in First Person

 

Mindful Perseverance

The highs, the lows, the hard work and perseverance required to set our sites on a goal and follow through. Rock climber Jonathan Siegrist gives us a thoughtful perspective on this in a short video about the first accent of a route he named "Spectrum."

What If..?

No amount of mindfulness or meditation can answer "what if...?".

It can only help prevent that question from consuming us.

Maybe even give us enough space from the fear surrounding that question to take action and find out the answer.

Mindful of Rain

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With rain comes so many opportunities for mindfulness. The excuse to linger in bed, move a little slower in the morning, sinking into how your body feels after a night of sleep or lack of sleep. New sounds to focus on, rain on the windows, shoes across wet pavement, tires displacing pools of water. The need to drive a little slower, stay more focused, take a bit more care.

After a few days of rain the novelty will wear off, unless of course, we choose to remain present in the moment with the rest of nature. 

Bubbles & The Boss

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Her first bath, precious; her first bath sitting up, special; bath with cousins, sweetness; even the first soapy faux-hawk is pretty cool. But after a while, it’s hard to show up and bring my A-game. I feel like one of those cops in the movies, just trying to run out the clock till retirement, till she’s down for the night and I get a little slice of me-time.

I’m worn out and all those icons on my phone are calling me, Instagram, Email, The New York Times. I pause, take a few deep breaths, opt for Pandora, the Bob Dylan station, it’s The Boss, Devils & Dust. Sure, depressing as hell, but it works. I’m there, fully there, staring glassy-eyed at my little girl with a lump in my throat as this everyday moment (I mean every freaking day) unfolds into magic.

Those moments are there for us, possibly everywhere, but at least more often than we imagine. Sometimes we just need a little help uncovering them. For some, sometimes meditation works. For me, for this evening, it’s a little bump from The Boss. 

It All Counts

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Even the times when you sit there unable to stop the constant flow of thoughts, fears and regrets. Even when you barely find a moment of peace, when your nerves are too frayed and eyes too tired. It still counts.

No need to force it, or judge it or add to your stress. Some days it’s just not there. Recognizing we have no focus is the first step to finding it again, because if you don’t know something is lost, what are the chances you’ll go looking for it.

Wise Words: Pink Floyd on Compassion

Pink Floyd's album A Momentary Lapse of Reason on EMI / Columbia Records

Pink Floyd's album A Momentary Lapse of Reason on EMI / Columbia Records

On The Turning Away

On the turning away
From the pale and downtrodden
And the words they say
Which we won't understand
"Don't accept that what's happening
Is just a case of others' suffering
Or you'll find that you're joining in
The turning away" 
It's a sin that somehow
Light is changing to shadow
And casting it's shroud
Over all we have known
Unaware how the ranks have grown
Driven on by a heart of stone
We could find that we're all alone
In the dream of the proud 
On the wings of the night
As the daytime is stirring
Where the speechless unite
In a silent accord
Using words you will find are strange
And mesmerised as they light the flame
Feel the new wind of change
On the wings of the night 
No more turning away
From the weak and the weary
No more turning away
From the coldness inside
Just a world that we all must share
It's not enough just to stand and stare
Is it only a dream that there'll be
No more turning away?